Writing for this website can sometimes be difficult. Most of the time, I lack the emotions strong enough to just drop everything I'm doing and let my thoughts flow through my fingertips onto a journal or a screen. Tonight, however, is an exception. The only noises I can hear right now are the quiet, low buzzes of machines, the sound of my own keyboard clicking with every character I type, and the occasional roll of thunder.
"The world is oh so beautifully fucked." I have said it over and over again, but right now it seems to ring true and hit close to home. I see no future in which we do not destroy ourselves due to our own avarice- the sky is burning, the rivers are drying up, and the stars are gone...
It has started to rain.
Chasing hopes and dreams right now is like looking for the stars in the sky. You won't be able to find anything geniuine. Some people I know echo a similar sentiment - why dream when you have no light to chase after?
I look up into the night sky and see nothing but the blinking lights of airplanes through the clouds.
Maybe we need to take these fake stars- these facades of dreams- and cling to them tightly. My reckless and ill-fated pursuit of being able to play in a band keeps me going. It's very easy to drift without purpose in these times. Perhaps they are just mockeries of what could've been, but they're what we've got, at least for now.
Someday, one way or another, we will be able to see real stars again.
note: this was typed as drugs kicked in. it's probably very rough. i'll touch it up later, probably. much love to you all